ID

What you are about to read is my own particular view and experience of life. It is neither a scientific, anthropological or psychological thesis. It might sound silly, maybe shocking. Either way, this discussion does not intent to convince anyone to agree with it. The only outcome hoped for from the audience reading is, reflection and maybe analysis or constructive criticism of the content. You may or may not identify yourself with the context and may or may not, gather some insights from it. Any response is a positive response, if only laughter.

ID

Identity is something assigned to us immediately by someone most likely not related to us as we draw our first breath. At that moment, we almost always hear: "it’s a boy” or “it’s a girl!" But once we have our own realised identity, this goes far beyond physical attributes, only being an individual particularity when we claim it as our own. This process of connecting with our identity and self-awareness cuts across complex terrain. Some people get lost whereas others find their way through. Our social environment is an invisible platform designed to format every single one of us within a pre-stablished, somewhat sterile frame. Whether you stay in or escape the frame, there is a price to pay. For those who escape the entrapment of social status, they must endure and deflect fleeting glances or more. Whereas for those who remain entrapped within these frames, they must resist pressures as extreme as social castration and endure a constant battle with their true essences.

Some people have dealt with their own search for identity almost as if it were a torment. There is no doubt that it is a mission, be it enjoyable or miserable and one that we must each follow. Everyone wants to be unique, extraordinary, successful like no one else, as if they were the most precious being on earth. None of us is better than any other, we are all truly spectacular. The perception of that is an individual one. The real task is to face reality without delusional standards in order to overcome the foolish obstacles that society has been building up around us. Self-acceptance simply depends on how we design our personal journey. Besides, happiness is definitely a choice. Although the journey of finding your own self may be challenging, it can also be enjoyable and it should never be seen as a burden.

The privilege of living on a multi-ethnical planet definitely does make life an extraordinary and fascinatingly rich experience. However, some people may disagree with what I call privilege and may see this as a threat to their "noble" (shallow) existence. I personally consider humankind to be one race with multiple ethnicities though I accept that this way of thinking is very much up for debate. There are multiple strands outlining theories that concern race that describe physical traits, whereas ethnicity perhaps refers more to cultural identification. Whatever the bottom line of this anthropological discussion may be, the point in my view is that humans should recognise each other as equals, irrespective of their individual features or culture. Set against this arguably altruistic concept, some parts of humankind used their powers to dictate to their brothers and sisters within their social systems.

One of the most harmful atrocities that has divided people from primordial times is slavery. It had its beginnings in the first civilizations, for example in Mesopotamia and has been practiced since around 3500 BC. In 2022, Modern Slavery is rampant, particularly in so called “civilised societies”. In earlier times, vulnerable individuals could be overpowered and turned over to slavery, irrespective of their individual features or culture, as long as they were thought suitable for hard labour. Then, from the 15th century, Black Slavery became a trade when European countries started travelling overseas. Particularly in Africa, kidnapping people and turning them into slaves was part of the status quo. This specific type of slavery has for the main part been abolished so Modern Slavery now prevails. It is no longer necessarily related to ethnicity but remains an abusive form of exploitation.

There is another sort of slavery, an invisible one that exists on conscious and/or subconscious levels across all societies. It goes by the name of ”social status”. It has entrapped and kept many people hostage with its pre-established stereotypes, or should we say “sterile-types”? Furthermore, it has framed many people into various social categories, resulting in many kinds of mental health issues: anxiety, depression, isolation, exclusion. This movement is not new, but ancient, having existed since humankind began the process of creating “civilisations”. Moreover, with the advance of technology, communication and consequently access to information, the concept of social status continues to develop and expand. Although our social interactions have increased and developed, the social pressures and expectations that come with them often create conflict, exclusion and exploitation, even abuse.

Social status presents itself across various sub-categories that have labelled every single one of us since we were born. From time to time, we may be under the illusion that society has moved forward in some ways. But how far has it gone? For example, some decades ago, the now older generations had broken some social labels, stigmas and barriers, pioneering a way to fight against discrimination, prejudice, racism and exclusion for the generations to come. Through hard work and with huge sacrifices and many losses, from the Sixties until the Nineties, social movements emerged to address their rights. These included equalities, civil rights, feminism, the LGBTQ and black communities, freedom of speech, human rights, AIDS awareness, a woman’s right to choose abortion, stigmas around drug abuse, education, urbanisation and environmental awareness. In 2021, society more than amply demonstrates that is has gone backwards in many of these areas.

Perhaps, this might be how society progresses, moving back and forth before moving ahead as it visualises history and plans a better strategy and social improvements for the future. But has this strategy been an effective one? In recent years, societal outcomes have showed otherwise. So many influential forces have had a huge impact on people´s lives, especially on their social relations. Consequently, within other spheres, including politics, environmental awareness, finance, education, science and religion, there are many correlations. For many people, identity is not only an individual characteristic, but also how we perceive each other. This is the core of most human beings´ dysfunctional approach to their identity: concerns about other people’s perception of themselves. What an unbalanced society we live in!

In “Black Mirror” on Netflix, the episode "Nosedive" is a tragic satire about the madness of social media and people´s mutual approval systems. These systems are based on superficial parameters used to judge one’s identity in a split-second rating your personal profile as "acceptable" or otherwise. But how far is this from our reality? Is it really a fiction or a critique of what we have experienced in recent years? Either way, it is an excellent illustration of how social status has terrified and harmed many people who are concerned about their identity being accepted. Many would argue that social media has been distracting, dividing and blinding us from important issues, which have been managed by small powerful clusters. Perhaps some people may say that sounds like a conspiracy theory.

No matter which social channel or platform society embraces to bring people "together", the main issue is, how we cope with the madness of the acceptance (and cancel) culture we are all immersed in. Our individual identities have never been so much under the spotlight. There are so many different social media channels we can choose from to platform ourselves for various purposes. In order to make it work, you must have a profile with a clear message communicating who you are, what you have, what you offer, what you expect, attempting to enchant whoever may visit your profile page. The investment of trust involved can all too often result in ugliness and pain. How many of those profiles out there are really trustworthy? Would you be prepared to pay the price and suffer the consequences of daring to be genuine? Taking all that into consideration, life has become more and more digitally connected on a global level and physical contact has become more and more obsolete, distancing people from what really matters.

Who are we? I thought that was a simple question to answer. In actual fact, identity has always been a conundrum. There are many people who have chosen to let others solve this puzzle out for them, whereas others have chosen one of many pre-assembled puzzles available to them. It is a matter of choice. This way many people believe they are avoiding social rejection, having an "approved" identity if you like. When those who have chosen a “non-genuine” identity for themselves decide to interfere with other people´s identities, it becomes a huge issue for society, an issue society has arguably had to deal with for centuries. Society has not really evolved that much as it still attempts to address its shallow concerns about sensitive issues without either sympathy or consideration. Also, it continues to be judgemental, labelling some differences as not being suitable in certain social environments. This is all based on society’s preconceptions and dogmas that may go against its social mores and acceptable stereotypes.

One way or another, we all have dealt with some kind of discrimination, be it consciously or otherwise. I wonder how it must feel to be into somebody else´s shoes when they are discriminating. After all we have gone through across history, we have not learnt our lessons well and we are still fighting battles against inhumane and foolish discrimination. For example, we have recently aligned ourselves with one particular protest, “Black Lives Matter”. It’s hard to Imagine how low society could have got to the point where an ethnic minority, part of the human race, has to shout out loud that their lives matter in order to be respected. This is truly appalling. If that was not enough to embarrass us all, “white supremacy" groups (who may describe themselves as the "pure race") has also protested alongside Black Lives Matter. It is worth mentioning to uneducated protestors that the first specimens of homo sapiens and our ongoing evolution happened in Africa.

These protests are about racism, prejudice and discrimination, not only against black people, but against any other ethnicity or culture or behaviour or physical attributes or social status or sexuality or gender and so on. This is why education is paramount in people´s lives, firstly at home, where our identity starts evolving and we learn manners, principles and values in order to respect each other. Such positive and influential forces seem to be less visible nowadays. Parenting seems to be a tick box exercise for many people, who have forgotten their responsibility to themselves, to society, and to their own children.

I could never have imagined that I would live in the 21st Century still facing racism and discrimination, particularly after a globalisation movement that has brought different cultures and people together to share their knowledge and peculiarities. That all should have been overcome by now. These disempowering forces impact directly on people´s identity and yet, society has kept allowing them to rise up to the surface because they are thought to be current. They are shameless. The most polemic discussions around identity concern ethnicity, belief and sexuality. Surprisingly, issues that should be an individual matter have been turned into collective concerns by society. If it was not absurd enough to be judged by co-related people, imagine being judged by unrelated ones too. There is a saying: “A person´s freedom ends when somebody else´s starts”. People should bear this in mind.

Ethnicity is one of the most fascinating peculiarities on earth: all the different languages, cultures, physical features, habits, costumes, knowledge, food, spices, smells and colours. An infinite number of combinations that make each one of us unique and equip us to learn and teach others. Countless beliefs that have given people´s lives purpose and meaning, different yet perhaps all connected to the same source. Then, maybe the most polemic of all is sexuality. Something so particular and so intimate that only relates directly to the way we relate with our chosen partners in life. Does it really have to concern anyone else? Who are we to point the finger at somebody else’s identity “flaws”? What one person or those in a position of power may see as a flaw, may be cherished as a gift in somebody else´s life.

A discussion about gender is not only related to inequality, but to self-identity as well. The subject of gender and its new complex nomenclature has created distress on many levels within the LGBTQ+ community (sometimes denominated as LGBTQQICAPF2K+). Those who are unsure of their identity are often faced with a lack of compassion. Only those who survive this struggle can fully appreciate how hard this whole process is. Intolerance has increased exponentially. Although there is nothing new about gender that has not occurred in the past, this subject is discussed more freely and openly nowadays compared to few decades ago. The uncertainties that surround this is that society is becoming even more fragmented and has returned to a stigmatic labelling process. This can damage everyone and can ignore the struggles the old generations endured, their conquests and the wounds and scars they still show.

So, everyone has their own identity. For some, it is easily and already defined, for others it is a work in progress. Some have accepted themselves, others have not. Some have tried to change and improve their identity. So, identity is what makes us unique as individuals amongst around 8 billion humans on earth. It is magical. Clearly, we are all different to each other, so why not accept that and respect the differences? It is not a person’s primary duty to make themselves accepted or just to like everyone else? Our primary duty is to accept the differences and respect them. The most important part of a person´s identity is their character. So, although it is quite altruistic to think that society may soon evolve, can we not at least hope that people will at least let others be, no matter how hard that may be? In addition, who are we to judge somebody else´s story when we each have our own? We all live in glass houses. We must all enjoy our journeys, discovering our identities, connecting with and respecting each other. Life is precious, but also short and it ends in a split second. Let us spend this awesome time alive to make every single second count, both for ourselves and for those around us. Do not live to impress, but live to be impressed. Be yourself. Be happy. Let others be!

SURVIVAL GUIDANCE

If you do not see others beyond yourself, do not socialise or look in the mirror.

If you do not tolerate other ethnicities, do not order takeaways.

If you do not admire different cultures, do not appropriate them.

If you do not truly believe in someone else’s creed, do not worship.

If you do not approve of marriage between people of the same sex, do not marry.

If you do not understand gender fluidity, do not say you go with the flow.

If you do not agree to having the same income as your co-worker of the opposite sex, do not stay in your job.

Leandro Bernardes, 2022.